
All this recent talk about green being the new black has made me want to put in my two-cent's worth about some of the useful methods I've found to lessen my own carbon footprint in order to help protect our environment:
1. Bathe yourself less. Ponytails were invented for day #3 of the hair-do. And when you know that the amount of hot water and soap you're saving is really making a difference, you might even push yourself to day#4.
2. Re-use ziploc bags. It's common knowledge that plastic is terrible for the environment--both to make and to dispose of--so wash, rinse, and reuse, baby. And only some foods absorb a soapy taste from your efforts, but you'll get used to it.
3. Mop your floor and clean your toilet as little as possible. Cleaning chemicals like bleach and ammonia wreak havoc on the environment and on water treatment systems, so I find that abstinence is always the best practice.
4. Avoid wiping food from your children's faces. Not only is this an emotionally discouraging habit since the food will only inevitably reappear just a short while later on their cute little mugs, but it causes you to waste water waiting for it to get warm enough to make for a comfortable wipe, or you're sending unnecessary "wipe-ies" and paper towels in the trash contributing to our landfill problems. Just wait until they fall asleep that night and most of it will rub off on their sheets by morning. And while I'm on the subject of children, I also suggest waiting as long as possible for a diaper change as well. See landfill problems for a reference. If you wait until just before it leaks out onto their clothes, then you're good. None of this change-as-soon-as-they're-slightly-wet stuff.
5. Re-use facial tissues as long as is possible. In fact, try leaving it in your pocket overnight because it's bound to dry out enough to be good for the next day again. I've been known to find perfectly good and dried out tissues from even the year before when pulling out my parka each winter season. It's always an economical and pleasant surprise.
6. Don't ever throw away un-eaten food left on dinner plates. All combined, that's a perfectly good meal waiting for you to pack in your reusable plastic container for your husband's lunch at work tomorrow.
7. Never let your husband pamper you with fresh flowers. Flowers grown in greenhouses might as well have a skull and crossbones warning label on them considering how extraordinarily wasteful they are when it comes to the amount of energy, fertilizer, and oil they take to get from seed to vase. And besides, they only die. (Kudos to my husband for coming up with this one all by himself.)
8. Allow your son and his little friends to go alfresco on your outdoor compost pile. It's the absolute best way to boost the much-needed nitrate levels in composting chemisty. And then it contributes to your being able to achieve suggestion #3, because we all know what little boys are capable of doing to your toilet and bathroom floor.
9. Re-gift whenever possible. It's an excellent method of recycling and lightening the load when it comes to the amount of stuff we all have. And your child's school teacher will surely never know that the Christmas ornament she received from your son was the same one you got from your Visiting Teachers just days before. It's a win-win situation.
And last but not least:
10. Stop buying toys for your kids. They are perfectly happy to play with cardboard boxes and sofa cushions.....that is, when they aren't pestering eachother instead.
11 comments:
I think that my stomach is going to be sore from laughing so hard. I love it Dahling!!!!
You mean I'll my lack of effort has actually been for the environment?! Awesome.
So I've got some other comments and they have to do with "fridge hygiene" but since this is the world wide web I'll wait till I see you in person.
Hilarious! This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time! I love all of your ideas and can proudly say that I've been embracing most of those methods for years now.
Jennette, I can't thank you enough for a moral justification to not buy flowers. I never realized just how good a guy I really am.
Jennette, you are clever little girl, and I can not get enough of you.
It was great getting to see you briefly. And thank you for this witty, and insightful post.
I love most of these suggestions, but I think I won't tell Dean about the cut-flowers one. :)
This should be published for a wider audience, Jennette! I wish I had your hair and could get away with not washing it for 3 days! I think there are few of us blessed with those kind of locks, though...
Last night Anna had me read this post. I LOVED it. It is so humorous and true in many ways.
I hadn't visited your blog for a long time and it was nice to come back.
D.
Hahahahaha! I need to email this to my husband.
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