This morning, as with most mornings, I asked Olivia to go and brush out the tangles in her hair and then pick a headband or clip to wear (a huge reason why I loooove her having short hair--she can do this herself now). Soon enough she brought me a comb and asked me to fix the part and help with the headband placement (it can be tricky). When we were finished she stood in front of the full-length mirror in my room, then did a happy jump and exclaimed: I! LOOK! SO! CUTE! Mom, aren't I so beautiful and cute?!
This must be the gift of being 5 years old. May it never die.
Sadly, though, I know that there must be a day in the future when she's sobbing in front of a mirror because she's certain that she's not having a bad-hair day, but a bad-hair life. Or the day when she does something like taking a Sharpie and drawing an outline on her body (the pre-having-birthed multiple babies-and-therefore-without-sags-or-flab-or-dimpled-thigh body, no less!) that she wishes she could cut away in order to get a "perfect shape." If men, reportedly, are constantly thinking about sex, then I'm going to go out on a not-so-risky-limb and say that women spend even more time thinking about their appearance--and most of it's not positive either. We could have an entire discussion about who is to blame here: advertisers, celebrities, the fashion industry, the beauty industry, or (as the Church Lady would say) "could it be..... Satan?" Whatever the case, sometimes I want to be like those good fairies--Flora, Fauna, and Merriweather--who visit the infant Sleeping Beauty and bestow special gifts. Because if I could give gifts to my daughters, I would want one of them to be that they would have a healthy sense-of-self, knowing, with solid-iron certainty, that they are and will always be beautiful....and cute.
7 comments:
Sniffle, sniffle... that was beautiful... and cute. It makes me think about what an awesome opportunity we have to take these little pieces of marble we've been given and each day do all we can to chisel them with praise and polish them love so they can become a LOT more self-confident than I ever was!
We introduced our girls to "Napoleon Dynamite" last night and it led to some great discussions about self-confidence and how a lack of it affects our choices. Plus we laughed like crazy! I don't remember having these insights the first time I watched it 4 years ago. God bless our little ones and the parents who raise them!!!
I'll take those wishes for my girl too. I love the idea of showing Napoleon Dynamite as a way of talking about self-confidence. I may own that movie after all.
And Jennette, I'm sure that your girls(and boys) will be great. They have you and Adam to look to. Lucky kids!
I've heard people say that you should never praise your child's appearance, only their accomplishments, so that they won't equate their worth with their appearance. And then I've heard other people say that since their parents never praised their appearance, they thought their parents thought they were homely. Anyway, I tell all my kids they're beautiful (yeah, even my boys, although I try to remember to change the word to "handsome") all the time because they just ARE beautiful to me (and if anyone's going to think you're beautiful, it better at LEAST be your mother, right?)
Rose will talk just like Olivia when she looks in a mirror, and I just love it, too. And yes, it would be SO wonderful if they could keep that kind of confidence forever.
It is a tragedy that we sat around wasting so much energy and time and effort bemoaning our bodies. Horrible. I too want my girls never to experience that. It is Satan and it is so destructive. Millie had an interesting post on her blog about a national love your body day. I will have to revisit the post, it was interesting.
I just want my kids to be grateful for all the wonderful things their bodies can do for them....run, ski, swim, bike, think, write, walk, see, taste, smell. But sometimes I still mourn my "cottage cheese" and my flab, which is not a good example. I must be far more careful and change my thinking. These negative thoughts certainly will have consequences.
I worry about these things too because (well, being a girl myself) I know what went through my mind back then. Didn't Elder Holland talk about this and the responsibility of mothers to be the example of good body-image and not being obsessive ourselves?
Fashion mags should be trashed.
P.S.
Love the Church Lady reference.
Great post. Something to really think about. There is just something about the 4-5 year old girls, though. Cate does the same thing and I can only hope that it will last.
I can't get past the picture! I LOVE IT! :)
Oh, and I made Adams cookies! So yummy! Thanks for sharing! If he gets tired of his job he could so work for Cooks Illustrated's test kitchen. :)
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